I hate shopping.
Trial rooms.Are they built to make you look fatter? Are the mirrors engineered to make you feel disgusted with yourself? Your eyes suddenly look more sunken in, with shadows and fine lines around them. Every spot and blemish on your face is highlighted. And your bulges! Your stomach and double chin and arms…one by one you examine them in horror.
Of course the clothes you’ve brought in never fit. Even the XXL you were convinced would be too ‘loose’. Pant and skirt buttons never shut and jeans? If they make it up your thighs it’s a hallelujah moment!
Often you’ll be confronted with tops that don’t even fit one arm. And if you do somehow manage to pull one over your head and over the mountains called your bosom, the way your stomach bulges in it, will make you want to retch.
And then you turn around and look at that trial room mirror. And you feel like your life has no purpose. Maybe it’s the grotesque lighting. No it’s just you.
Wonder of wonders, if you do manage to find a top that hangs flatteringly, covering your large stomach (probably from the maternity section) you will definitely want to pick it up in every colour possible. Who knows, this moment may never come again.