And really, it’s not the same thing.
Almost every thing in my day is linked to being fat. If someone looks at me, I think they’re looking at my paunch. If a guy friend calls to hang out with me, it’s ‘coz I think he wants me to call my hot friend, so he can hang out with her.
Sometimes I even think I would do better at work if I was thinner.
Tonight I went out with two very close friends – a girl and a guy – and we had a really good time, with lots of laughs and free shots. Then, somewhere during the night, the two of them spent 5 whole minutes discussing their mutual attraction for each other. It made me feel completely left out, and also a bit sad. Why wasn’t I the one being flattered with confessions of attraction?
And the most haunting question was, as long as I’m fat, will I ever be?