He passed me in the corridor. His eyes looked through me as usual. Somewhere half an inch above my head.I stole my usual glance at him. I don’t know if he notices me or not, I can’t tell. Then, as I do with most other things in life, I tell myself, why would a guy who looked like him – all attitude and ease and curly hair – go for a round human being, albeit with a cute face, but round nonetheless.
I think of all the guys who have liked me in the past, and how my standard HAS to raise. Then I think my standard will only raise when I lose weight. Even when a guy does look my way, I always think self-deprecatingly, why on earth would he be interested in me? I’m fat!
Of course, when I go out with friends, and guys give our group attention, I’m automatically assuming that the attention is for the other girls in the group. And not me. Never me. Boys always like my friends. Never me.
I plod on through the rest of my day, listlessly exercising in my head, going through how I would work out to lose that double chin and round paunch. One day…